


Eddsworld: System Overload

by InterstellarBorb, mathonwys, Professional_Shitpost



Category: Eddsworld - All Media Types
Genre: Anxiety Attacks, Camping, Canon-Typical Violence, Comedy, Dissociative Identity Disorder, Emetophobia warning for chapter 5, Gen, Implied/Referenced Past Abuse, Includes Art, Kidnapping, Vampire Matt, ell is just a cameo for now but she'll show up more later, redeemed Tord, self inserts ahoy!, takes place after the end
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-06
Updated: 2019-10-07
Packaged: 2020-04-11 22:23:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 18,633
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19118890
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InterstellarBorb/pseuds/InterstellarBorb, https://archiveofourown.org/users/mathonwys/pseuds/mathonwys, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Professional_Shitpost/pseuds/Professional_Shitpost
Summary: After The End, it seems like things will never go back to normal. Tord rejoins the "hoodie gang" to try and make up for his actions, but there's lingering effects that'll stay far into the future. In the meantime, though, Edd's been making new friends-- and those friends might be more than everyone bargained for.(lighthearted story with self-inserts, shenanigans, and systems! check out ewsystemoverload on tumblr for artwork and more information.)





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> This is a mini project me and a few friends have been working on on tumblr and discord. I decided to make a fanfic for "eddisodes" and I'll start posting them on here. I can't promise constant updates, but it will be done quick.

It started with a bang. The sky appeared to light up in a display of blues and greens as the meteor shower was in full effect. Edd never thought in a million years he’d be in the park watching this all go down, let alone with his three friends, Tom, Tord, and Matt. But a newer friend had convinced him to; one he had met about a month ago. They had a lot in common. Both loved making comics and animations, spending time with friends, and they both even had cats! “Hey guys!” a familiar voice called. He turned his head to his left and saw two figures walking towards them. 

“Hey Leo! Finally made it?” Tom spoke up as Leo and his boyfriend Jorb took a seat with the group.

 “Yea, I was chatting with my friend from America,” Leo replied, “They just delivered some news I wasn’t prepared for.” 

“What kind of news?” Edd asked, his curiosity peaking. 

“You know that old house that’s beside yours? Not the one that Eduardo lives in?” Leo asked, earning a nod. 

“Yea, what about it?” Tom asked as he started to drink from his flask. 

“Well, they bought the house recently and are moving in within a month-“ Leo paused as Tom choked slightly on his smirnoff, “They’re nice, I promise! I think you’ll like them. They’re like me and Edd!”

 “Too kind for their own good?” Tord asked, earning a nervous laugh in reply.

 “Kinda? You’ll see…!” Leo replied, “I’m sure you’ll enjoy having them around-“

 “Look at that one!!” Matt exclaimed as a much larger meteor burnt up above them, bigger than all the ones they had seen so far. The six were completely in awe as they watched it travel through the sky.

 

* * *

 

 Deep in the heart of the lone star state, near a major lake, the bright light continued to shine as a meteor slammed into the ground just outside the soon to be old home to an artist and writer. They slammed the door open almost immediately and raced to where the object landed. What they saw wasn’t a meteor… it was made of metal-- steel, even. It looked like a tiny pod of some sort.

 As soon as they touched it, they were shocked to find it not hot, but cold… They rubbed their hand against it, trying to get a feel for what it was made of. A small yelp of pain escaped them as they held their now pricked finger. The pod seemingly whirled to life, slowly opening a hidden hatch in the middle. In said hatch, a heart pendant rested on a blue cushion. The person blinked before touching the heart, gently picking it up. 

The heart seemingly burst to life and opened, 9 orbs of light swirling around it. The light flashed bright. The last thing they heard before blacking out was their name…

_“Ico…?”_


	2. Moving in! (part 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tord and Rhi are the ultimate rivals. Yeet the microwave!!

To say that Leo’s friend was late was a major understatement. There was a rented moving van already parked in the driveway of the house next door to theirs, but it had been there for over 3 days. Leo had been waiting for about 3 hours for his friend to arrive, although so far no luck. “Weren’t they supposed to be here by 3?” Tom asked as he checked the time. He had agreed to wait with Leo once said new neighbor was an hour late, which was slowly turning into two hours late.

“Might've gotten confused in traffic,” Leo replied, “They’re probably trying to figure out how to drive on the left side of the road.”

Tom snorted at that, looking back to the road before drinking the last bit of smirnoff from his bottle, “Damn.”

The two nearly perked their heads up at the same time at the sound of footsteps quickly approaching. A person in a yellow hoodie panted as they stopped in front of the moving van, hands behind their head to catch their breath. They looked to be wearing sunglasses…? “Hey Rhi!” Leo said as he stood up and walked over. Tom blinked before standing up himself and walking over.

“Fucking hell…I need to get in better shape,” Rhi panted.

“No kidding…” A voice spoke, making Tom pause, “I told you we should've just gotten a bike! You could've passed out!”

“We made it either way, Ico,” Rhi replied, then gave Leo a tired hug, “We forgot to order a rental car…so we walked…good to see you Leo…!”

“You too!” Leo laughed, “Tom, this is Rhi and Ico. They’re the ones I told you about!”

Tom blinked, gaining a confused look, “I only see one…?”

“Ico’s hiding behind me,” Rhi replied, finally catching their breath completely.

“How do I know that they won’t freak out over me?” The voice, which Tom assumed to be Ico, hissed out.

“Just try, they’ll find out eventually,” Rhi said, stepping to the side.

Tom’s black eyes widened when he saw a strange green being floating in mid air, its tail seemingly connected to the pendant Rhi wore. It had two hermit crab like pincers, although one was maybe 3x bigger than the other. The green being waved the smaller claw. “I’m Ico…” they said.

“I’ll explain once we head inside,” Leo spoke up.

“Uh, no offense…but I see a shed on some rubble…” Rhi snickered, revealing a set of razor sharp teeth hidden under a strangely shaped mouth.

“Long story,” Tom replied, walking alongside the trio, “We live next door to Leo in the apartments, but we’re slowly rebuilding this place to make it a hang out area.” One thing Tom was curious about was why Ico was…well, a gassy being. Not to mention the fact that Rhi was wearing sunglasses, so who knows what their eyes look like.

“Sounds fun- can I kick the door down?” Rhi suddenly asked, making Tom and Leo look worried.

“No! We’re trying to make good first impressions!” Ico snapped back, getting a groan in response.

Rhi sighed and took off the sunglasses they had been wearing, putting them on the chain that held the pendant up. Tom held back a surprised gasp. Rhi’s eyes were VERY similar to his, except for one detail…white pupils. Not only that, but barely resting about the main pair were a pair of smaller eyes that were semi closed, their white pupils barely visible. “Hope they won’t mind someone calling me four eyes,” Rhi snorted when they noticed Tom staring, “Because it’s the truth.”

“I feel like I shouldn’t be all that surprised…” Tom mumbled as he opened the door to the “shed” and stepped in. “They made it finally!” Tom called out, although the only response was Tord mumbling something in Norwegian as he got up from the couch to see who the guests were.

“Hey Tord! These are my friends, Rhi and Ico!” Leo said as he brought the duo close to him. Tord blinked, his eyes widened and staring right at Ico. “They’re moving in next to this place-“ Leo stopped when Tord pulled out a pistol. “Tord, wait!”

“W-Wait a minute!!” Ico started, holding his claws up defensively.

A low growl immeted from Rhi’s throat. All four eyes were wide open and glaring daggers at Tord. “Uh oh…” Ico mumbled.

“…Switch…” Rhi hissed. A bright light engulfed both and soon Rhi was replaced by a yellow, 4-eyed cat spirit that had cyan paws.

Meanwhile, Ico was replaced by a dirt blonde haired, relatively normal looking boy maybe their own age. “Rhi, hold on-“ Ico was cut off by a yowl from Rhi as they pounced on Tord, causing a full blown brawl to start. Tord never had a chance to react or fire his gun as Rhi began to bite, scratch, and punch at Tord.

“GET THIS CRAZY THING OFF ME!!!” Tord yelled, only to be stopped as he yowled in pain, defending himself the best he can.

“Rhi, you can stop now!” Ico said, preparing to switch.

Both Leo and Ico had worried looks while Tom was ready to crack up. “Good job,” Tom snickered as he watched the chaos ensue.

Ico gave Tom an annoyed look before yelling “SWITCH”, causing Ico to go back to his spirit form while Rhi was back in their physical form.

Leo grabbed Rhi while Tom grabbed Tord. The two looked like they were glaring daggers at one another before Rhi brushed off Leo and their hoodie. Tord wasn’t finished with Rhi, and the opposite seemed to be true as well as Tord grabbed the couch while Rhi grabbed a microwave. Leo turned slightly to see Matt, Jorb, and Edd peeking out from behind a corner. “TORD NO!” Edd shouted as he snatched the couch from Tord. Tord grumbled, before hearing a “YEET” and the microwave slamming into him, knocking him out almost instantly.

“I WIN FUCKER!” Rhi cackled as they looked down at Tord’s unconscious body. Tom wanted to burst into a fit of laughter, but held it back as he watched Rhi walk over to Leo. “Dead ass trying to kill us, he’s lucky I’m not taking his shit seriously.” Now that was a strange accent, which Rhi seemed to notice, “My inner Texan came out.”

“Texan? So you’re a hic?” Tom asked as he looked at the pendant. Its rim was red, orange, and purple, while the middle was divided into yellow and green. Strange…

“Not completely. Mix between city folk and country folk,” Rhi replied, giving Tom a sharp smile as Tord groaned, waking up. Rhi looked down at Tord and gently nudged him with their foot. "He’ll live,” Rhi snickered.

“We’ll be right back…” Ico grumbled before dragging Rhi out of the shed.

Tord slowly got up, a bit wobbly, and looked around. “Where’d that fuck go?”

“Probably home to unpack,” Edd said, “You alright?”

“Yea... I’m fine…” Tord grumbled, “How did I get my ass kicked by them?”

“Well…” Leo started, “Rhi doesn’t usually choose flight over fight. They felt threatened…”

“Spirits are bad news! Of course I’d attack!” Tord slightly snapped, then sighed, “Sorry Leo, but I don’t think we’ll get alo-”

“You should go over and apologise, then let Rhi apologise to you!” Edd said, an excited look on his face, “We could all go!”

“I’m down,” Tom said, “It’s nearby so it shouldn’t be too much of a hassle.”

“Oh oh oh! Me too!” Matt said with excitement, “They never got to compliment my good looks anyways.” Everyone gave him an annoyed look, “What? It’s true!”

Tord let out a sigh of defeat, “Fine... as long as I don’t have to go alone.”


	3. Moving in! Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Edd gets to meet some cats, and everyone learns that Eduardo and Rhi won't be trying to hurt each other anytime soon.

Boxes and boxes and boxes and...yea. Moving wasn’t fun, especially when you have too much stuff.A man in a dark green shirt watched as a yellow hoodie wearing person struggled to keep a good grip on a massive box. Eduardo scoffed at this while Jon’s ghost peaked from inside the fence itself. “You think they’ll be like Edd?” Jon asked.

“A hundred percent they will,” Eduardo snapped. He had been nicer to Jon since the whole being death thing. Eduardo grumbled to himself slightly, glaring at the strange new neighbor. Not to mention they had just left the shed where edd and his gang hung out at. He already hated the new neighbor. He flinched slightly when a loud “FUCK SAKES” rang out as the box toppled onto the new neighbor, who groaned in slight pain as they stood up, “Hey you!” The neighbor paused, looking around.

“Me?” They asked.

“Yes you!!” Eduardo snapped, making them flinch a bit. That’s when he noticed the fact that they had four eyes...he had seen stranger.

***

Ico gently placed Tamah, a small freshwater bivalve, into their new tank, Almost immediately, they opened up slightly, taking in the fresh water from the sink, the best place to get bacteria. Ico smiled as he watched, hearing the door open. “He likes it Rhi!”

“We’re not Rhi…” A familiar voice spoke. Ico spun around to see Tord. He yelped and zoomed to the coffee table that came with the house, hiding under it. “Please leave your weapons outside the house!”

Tord blinked, then frowned. “He’s unarmed, don’t worry!” Another voice piped up. Ico peeked out and spotted Tom and two of his friends. Edd and Matt right? Well Edd seemed to be the one talking.

There was a flash and a thud as Ico changed into his human form, rubbing his head. “I’m stuck…” He said. Just as he was about to switch back, Edd walked over and lifted the coffee table with just one arm. Ico blinked as he quickly got out from underneath it. “How did you do that?”

“Oh it’s a long story!” Edd started, “It started when the tv was loo-”

“He has superpowers,” Tom interrupted, “We came here so Tord could apologize.”

“What…? Oh! Yea...I appreciate it...but uh, an apology won’t cut it fully…” He looked to Tord, “I still don’t trust him.”

“We don’t fully trust him either, but he’s our friend so we have to deal,” Tom replied. Everyone froze at the sound of Edd’s squeal. When did he get away from the others? They followed the sound, only to witness Edd sitting on the floor, surrounded by six cats, all meowing, as if asking for pets. 

“This...is...heaven…!” Edd spoke as he kept petting and rubbing the cats, scratching behind the ears on a few that loved it.

“Glad they like you!” Ico laughed as he sat beside Edd, “These are BB, Bidda Baby, Shiba, Sandy, Boots, and Callie. All our cats.”

“Why so many…?” Tom asked.

“Who cares?! Cats! I bet Ringo would love this!” Edd laughed as he kept petting all six as best he could.

Ico frowned as he stood up and headed to the front door, “Rhi should of brought a box in by now…” He mumbled as he headed outside, Tom, Matt, and Tord following. What they saw next stunned the trio, but didn’t seem to have an effect on Ico. Rhi and Eduardo were...laughing? And talking to each other without going at each other’s throats. 

“And then I picked up the microwave and threw it right at him!” Rhi snickered, “I won that fight not so fair but definitely square.”

“I wish I could have witnessed that, sounds like he got what he deserved,” Eduardo chuckled as the two calmed down.

“But yea! Feel free to visit whenever! I’m sure the cats will love you, and we’re getting puppies soon!” Rhi said to Eduardo and Mark, as well as Jon, who only Ico, Eduardo, Mark, and Rhi could see fully. 

“I’m more of a dog person, but I’ll think about the offer,” Eduardo said, walking to his house.

“I’ll probably come over, not sure yet. But see you later,” Mark replied, following after Eduardo to the house.

“See ya dudes!” Rhi replied with a quick wave, then looked to Jon. “I’ll talk to you later!” With that, Rhi headed in the direction the others were at.

“So much for hating the new neighbor huh,” Mark teased Eduardo as he headed to his room.

“It was precautionary!” Eduardo retorted as he headed to the living room, Bingo barking at him for a back scratch.


	4. crash into hello

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ~Flaaashbaaaack~
> 
> Leo's new in town, but moving in shouldn't be too much of a problem. As long as the neighbours are nice, anyway...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> originally was gonna post this as part of its own collection but rhi gave me the go-ahead to add it here! which does mean the fics by me will be jumping all over the timeline lmao.

The redhead sighed as he plonked another cardboard box down. "S'not like I expected 'moving out' to be moving to another country," he mumbled to himself. He let out a small nervous laugh and shook his head, then took a step back and stretched his arms over his head to try and pop his back back into place. "But... we can do it, I think!" he added on in a slightly different voice as he finished stretching and rocked back on his heels. Shame he didn't know where his other hoodies were packed right now... The cyan one worked for now.

Leo's mouth twitched into a small smile as he glanced over his shoulder and caught a glimpse of his black cat nosing around the new environment. The smile spread into a grin as he rummaged around in his hoodie pocket and procured a small ball toy and tossed it in Pepper's general direction; she perked up, eyes widening, then chased it into the side room. Leo winced as he heard a crash and a cry of alarm, then burst out into quiet giggles. At least his boyfriend was getting along with his cat... although Pepper's idea of "bonding" was slapping anything in proximity and climbing on people.

Another crash sounded out, this time definitely not from the room his boyfriend was in. Leo jumped and instinctively shrank in on himself as his eyes darted back and forth to try and pinpoint what might have caused it. It was followed up by some muffled yelling-- several voices, all of them masculine-- and the sound of more roughhousing. Was it from the hall? No-- it was next door. Leo knew this was a potential problem with having neighbours, but he figured it would be more like hearing late-night music, not... a fight? He took several deep breaths to try and calm his shaky nerves. "Um, Jorb?" Hearing his nickname, Leo's roommate leaned out the bedroom door with Pepper latched firmly on his shoulder and apparently trying to eat his beard. "I'm... I'm gonna go see what's up."

"Take care, okay?" Jorb gave him a worried look. Leo responded with a not-at-all-reassuring nervous giggle, hands tucked in his hoodie pocket and looking like he was about to bolt, then nudged the door back open with his foot and slipped out.

It wasn't hard to figure out what door the ruckus was coming from. Leo shook his head, posture shifting a little, then knocked on the door. "Hello?" His voice cracked a little. The noise from the other side of the door came to a sudden halt. "I'm your new neighbour, is-- is everything alright in there?"

There was some scuffling, then someone called out "It's unlocked!" Leo raised his eyebrows, then opened the door. The scene in front of him was pure chaos frozen into a single frame. Four guys about his age were arranged about the room: one with a green hoodie was cicada-perched up near the ceiling, another with a red hoodie and... was that a robot hand? was aiming a military rifle at the others, and one with a blue hoodie and impossibly spiky hair was miliseconds away from hitting the final member (tall, hair the same colour as Leo's, purple hoodie, one fist gripping the blue hoodie and the other pulled back for a punch) with a wooden plank several knives had been embedded into. Leo spotted several bullet holes dotting the far wall, as well as a lone knife stuck in the couch that matched the ones in the board, and took a step back.

The guy in the corner, the gun-toting one, and the about-to-get-absolutely-obliterated tall dude stared at Leo blankly. Leo stared back. The spiky-haired guy in the blue hoodie looked around, confused at the interruption, then finally looked over his shoulder to spot Leo. His eyes were solid black, and Leo felt a shiver go up his spine. Seemingly unaware of the redhead's reaction, he broke out into a grin. "Oh, hey."

Leo slammed the door shut. As soon as it closed, he could hear the fight resume; he covered his ears to try and block it out as he walked back to his door, although he could still clearly make out a panicked shout of "not the face!" and a yell of "TOM, NO!". "Great," he muttered as he stepped back into his apartment and closed his door behind him. "Hey Jorb, I've got great news, our neighbours are insaaAAAA"

The apartment rattled with the impact. Several boxes were knocked to the ground and spilled their contents, and a small part of Leo's brain said "oh, so that's where my hoodie went", but the rest of him was laser-focused on the sudden appearance of the green-hoodied neighbour lodged firmly in his wall as if he'd been used as an impromptu javelin.

Leo blanked as the stranger wiggled, looking more annoyed at his predicament than any other logical reaction, then he looked up at him and gave an apologetic grin. "Hi! I'm Edd." He got one of his arms free and waved. "Sorry about your wall."

Leo's braincells started to flare back to life, one by one, and he buried his head in his hands. "You've got to be freakin' kidding."


	5. out of the bag

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leo's friendship with the hoodie gang is pretty solid. Leo's confidence that Edd won't ditch him as soon as he learns more about him isn't.
> 
> (aka Leo talks to Edd about his system and everything turns out fine)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> still taking place before "Moving In", this is very self-indulgent but hey whatcha gonna do. Leo's not good at being secretive but he IS good at having constant anxiety attacks

    Right. He was just on the other side of the door. All he had to do was knock, and start talking, and then maybe he wouldn’t implode.  
  
    Leo swallowed hard and lifted up a hand. This wasn’t gonna be too hard, right? Just… talk to Edd. Give him some answers. He’d surely picked up on it by now anyway. He just needed to knock, and walk in, and explain. Explain why he’d been acting so weird. Explain why his interests were so inconsistent. Explain why sometimes he used different words or a different tone. Explain why he couldn’t always remember what he had and hadn’t done. He just… needed to explain.  
  
    His head was empty. There was nothing but the hammering panic that had been building up in him for the past week. No other thoughts, no other feelings, just emptiness and impending doom. It was like everyone was holding their breath, waiting for something to break. Like he was.  
  
    He just needed to knock. Just knock, and say hello, and walk in, and start talking. So why couldn’t he move? Leo had experienced loss of control before, of his body moving without him being the one behind it, but this time it was like whatever connection between his brain and his body had ceased to exist. To an outsider, it was like he’d been turned into a statue. ‘Damnit, not now..!’ Leo tried desperately to get himself to move, to talk, to do anything besides just stand there like a deer in headlights. He just needed to push through his fear, push through all the nightmare scenarios knocking around inside him, and—  
  
    The door opened and Edd walked straight into him. The physical contact jolted Leo out of his fear-induced dissociation and he squeaked; he wobbled a little, about to topple, but Edd grabbed him by the arms before he could fall over and helped him regain his balance. “Leo! Hello! You’re here early!”  
  
    “Hi,” Leo responded weakly. Edd let go and the redhead trailed behind him into the apartment. “Yeah, I… I…” He stammered a little, unable to get the words to line up in his head. Edd didn’t seem to notice.  
  
    “Tom and Matt are still deciding what food to order,” Edd informed him cheerily, “and Tord said he’ll be a bit late tonight. Funny, you’d think he’d rush here as soon as he heard there’s a new movie from that director!”  
  
    Leo raised an eyebrow as Edd picked up the DVD case. “You mean that ‘evil’ director you told me about? …The one that cloned you?” Edd beamed at him. Leo opened his mouth, thought about all of the questions he could ask, decided none of them would get him anywhere, then dropped the subject. “Right, um, okay. Is it… is it any good?”  
  
    “It’s the first movie to ever get a MINUS score on Rotten Tomatoes!” Edd looked positively thrilled at the prospect. Leo badly wanted to ask how that was even possible, but instead lingered awkwardly as Edd chatted to him about how good (how bad?) the previous movie in the series was, and how he was so happy that Bingbong was back to directing, and…  
  
    “Edd?” Leo’s voice came out as a tiny squeak. Edd screeched to a halt and looked at him. Right. Now or never. “…can I talk to you?”  
  
    Edd gave him a somewhat concerned look, but kept the smile on his face. “Of course! What’s up?”

  
  
    Now or never.  
  
    Leo moved to sit down on the couch and drew his knees close to his chest. He could feel himself starting to freeze up again. No, he had to do this. He came all this way, and if he went ‘oh, it’s nothing’ now, Edd was going to get suspicious. The redhead cleared his throat and started playing with the drawstrings of his cyan hoodie. “Okay, um… you know how sometimes I act… weird..? Like, um… like I’m not always myself?”  
  
    Edd sat down on the couch as well, leaving a space between himself and Leo. “I guess?” This sounded pretty serious, he decided. Maybe Leo was about to tell him he was a werewolf, or part demon, or an alien, or possessed, or all of the above! You could definitely be all of the above. It wasn’t really out of the question. Secretly, he put his money on ‘werewolf’. “You can tell me anything,” he added on, a bit hasty but trying to hide his excitement.  
  
    Leo stuttered a little. How was he going to say this? “It’s… I’m… I have a… a condition,” he forced out. “An… a problem.  A problem with… me.”  
  
    (‘Definitely werewolf’, Edd thought.)  
  
    “Do you remember when I ran into your apartment and started singing, and then freaked out and ran away?” Edd nodded. “And when you asked me what my favourite Pokemon is and I changed my answer back-and-forth for like five minutes? And when I punched Tord in the face? And how I keep changing hoodies—”  
  
    “Yeah, that’s weird,” Edd interjected. “How many of those do you own?”  
  
    Leo winced. “…more than I should, I think. Um. There’s… well… there’s an explanation for all of that. And it’s that I’m not… I’m… there’s more than just ‘Leo’ in here.” He tapped the side of his head nervously.  
  
    Edd changed his vote from ‘werewolf’ to ‘possessed’.  
  
    “B-By which I mean,” Leo continued, trying desperately to keep himself on-rails, “I… I have something called, um, Dissociative Identity Disorder.” Okay. He said the hard part. The rest came easy, hopefully. It usually did. “What that means is, um, you might have heard it as ‘Multiple Personality Disorder’. Someone undergoes trauma and their brain creates another full-fledged identity to cope with it. The new person can take control of the body and has their own interests, name, identity…”  
  
    Edd listened with an expression Leo couldn’t place. The world around him seemed to fade, everything getting farther away, but he kept talking even as he felt like he was falling away.  
  
    “And, um, despite what the media usually says, we’re not like… serial killers or anything? We’re just normal people, and it’s like— it’s like having roommates, except the apartment is your body. We argue, we disagree, but we also get along and do fun stuff together… and we all really, really like you and the rest of the boys. You’re our friends, and… and we’re scared of, of losing that, because of being… crazy.” Leo’s voice cracked a little. “I— I can try and, explain more if you want, I know this is very sudden— there’s four of us counting me, you’ve met four of us I mean, I’m the ‘main’ identity and usually people only meet me but Pat and Mae and Summer really like you guys…” Leo shut his eyes tightly and scrunched up. In his headspace, he could sense the other alters huddled up around him, every much as worried and afraid as he was.  
  
    “Oh.” Edd looked unsure. Leo’s eyes darted from him, to the door, and back to him. Okay, this was the nightmare scenario. Edd was uncomfortable, he was going to tell him he didn’t want to be around them anymore, Leo was going to lose all of his new friends and— “I- I mean, it’s awesome! It’s like getting four friends for the price of one! But, uh, you’re not gonna like the movie, then.”  
  
    Leo’s train of thought derailed with several explosions and 500 civilian casualties. “Huh?” Edd handed him the DVD case with an apologetic look. The redhead flipped it over to read the summary blurb on the back, then let out a groan and slammed his face into it in disappointment.


	6. Death at Tord’s door

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tord suddenly has an idea for an adventure, everyone is ecstatic about it. but some aren't quite convinced. will the group survive the trip or will they have a close call with death herself?
> 
> Written by interstellarborb edited by mathonwys!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> takes place a while after the other chapters so far!

The gang were all crowded in Edd’s apartment watching a marathon of Insane Zombie Pirates From Hell in peace. Edd was sitting on the couch petting his pet cat Ringo beside Matt and Ico, with Rhi resting on Ico’s lap like Ringo was for Edd; Tom sat on the floor with a bag of chips, while Leo laid on his belly and enjoyed the movie. A man was about to have his brains eaten when Tord suddenly burst into the apartment and shut the door behind him, seemingly panicked, until he took a deep breath and marched his way in front of the TV.

“Hey friends! I have an idea for something to do for, uhh,” he paused for a moment and snapped his fingers, “a vacation!”

Everyone seemed confused but didn’t speak up, leaving an awkward vibe in the room as everyone stared at Tord until Tom broke the ice. “A vacation? An idea of a vacation from you either ends up with me getting hurt, or Rhi locked in a pet carrier on an airplane to who knows where!”

Edd piped in after. “Yeaah, you sending Rhi to India wasn’t the best way to go for a vacation to Indiana.” He rubbed his head in shame as Ico and Rhi nodded in agreement as Tord spoke up again.

“No worries friends, we are only going camping outside of the city for a while!”

Leo chirped once he heard camping. “Camping! It's better than sitting around all day watching Insane Zombie Pirates.”

Matt groaned in response. “Ugh, camping?! There’s no wifi out in the woods and there could be vampires!” He shook in his place only for Ico to put a hand on his shoulder.

“Dude. You're a pseudo-vampire remember?”

Matt’s expression went blank as he put a hand to his chin. “Oh yeah, I forgot I was part vampire...”

Tord clapped his hands together before anyone else could react. “Then its settled! We pack up and leave tomorrow morning! I know the perfect place for it!”

Edd piped in one last time. “Is it another freakin' graveyard, Tord?”

Tord froze, rubbed his eyes, and groaned. “No Edd, that was a Halloween special, remember. I'm not going to fight zombies again.”

 

* * *

 

 

The birds chirped as Tord drove the car packed with his friends, Rhi, and the rest of the stuff they packed to a seemingly nice spot by a cliff with a wondrous view of the suburbs that they used to live in but their clubhouse now sat. Edd’s jaw dropped in awe at such a decent spot. “Woah, Tord, I didn’t know you had such good taste in camping spots! I can see our old house from here!”

Tord rubbed the back of his head as he unpacked his tent. “Yeeeaaah, I've been to this spot before and thought it was… lovely.” He sighed and spoke under his breath about it being nicer without debris cluttering the place like when he first got there.

Tom was still not convinced that Tord wasn’t up to something and kept a close eye on him as Leo walked up to Tom and placed a hand on his shoulder. "Hey Tom, you doing okay?”

Tom shrugged Leo’s hand off of him and huffed in annoyance. “I think Tord is up to something. He’s acting the way he did when he first showed up at our old place out of the blue and suddenly wanted to be our friend again; he isn’t beating me up this time, though.”

Leo tilted his head in confusion and just laughed. “Tom, you're just being nervous, everything’s okay with Tord now. He even proved it. Maybe he just wants to spend some time with us rather then keep to himself all the time?” Leo patted Tom's back and walked away to help Ico and Rhi unpack their tent, leaving Tom with his thoughts as he mentally prepared himself for the worst.

Hours passed as everyone was sitting around a calm campfire closer to the woods as they told scary stories while Tord was looking at the sky, seemingly stargazing. Then, it was his turn to tell a scary story. Edd moved over and poked Tord to get his attention but got him to jump instead; this flicked a switch in Tom’s head as he was starting to wonder what was really going on.

“Tord, are you-”

Tord pushed Edd’s hand away from him and exclaimed “I'M FINE!” He cleared his throat. “I'm fine. Now, what was it you needed again?”

Edd tilted his head in confusion, then frowned. “No, what's on your mind Tord, remember what we agreed on. No secrets.”

Tord looked at Edd with dismay and looked at the sky again, then back to Edd. “I'm sorry my friend but… what phase was the moon yesterday night?”

Everyone looked at each other, seemingly confused, as Matt spoke up. “It was the one where it looked like someone took a huge bite out of it, why?”

This made Tord look stressed out as he pointed upwards.

"The moon is full…”

The air suddenly went cold as a black ooze formed on the ground and a dreadful tune began to play. A fairly large wolflike goop monster rose from the ground. It had a golden collar around its throat with a purple gem that was pulsing violently with energy, the same went for its ribcage-like chest as it rose from the ground and already towered over Tord and the others. Eyes began to form on its head and four arms, as well as inside its mouth?! Now Tord thought this was fucked up and Matt began to gag from the sight. A distorted but angry voice rumbled from the beast. {“YOU….”} it pointed a clawed hand at Tord as everyone else stepped or fell away from them. Tord gulped as it spoke up once more with seemingly more hatred in it’s tone, {“YOU… MOTHER...”} Its hand suddenly turned into a cold lunar tinted steel scythe as it slashed it in Tord’s general direction .{“FUCKER!”}

It proceeded to lunge at Tord as he managed to jump out of the way in time and dash into the woods. The monster stopped to glare at the group for a moment, seemingly debating their fates on this, but chose to ignore them and go after Tord.

Tom sat bewildered at what he had just seen. “What. The french urban cat king was THAT.”

Everyone else shrugged as Edd flailed his arms. “We need to save Tord!!” He yelled, and proceeded to run after them. Everyone else sat in silence before slowly agreeing to save Tord, much to Rhi and Tom’s dismay.

The group sped through the forest until Leo stopped in his tracks to see a gash in one of the trees. He turned on a flashlight only to see the slashed mark looked like something a werewolf would cause, but it also looked like the area around it was… dead. He looked at the ground with the light to see that the grass and some parts of the bushes were withered and dead as well; this caused a shiver to go down his spine as he called out to the others. “GUYS! We can’t fight this thing! It’s a reaper!”

Matt and Tom froze in their tracks and looked back at Leo. “A reaper?! But there's only ONE reaper, Leo!” Matt exclaimed with a lot of anxiety in his tone as Tom sighed.

“Not exactly, there’s more then one. Me and Leo saw a huge group of 'em when me and him went to India to get Rhi home before Ico realised that Tord replaced him with a body pillow of Goku from Dragon Ball Z. I wonder what the heated emergency llama lesbians Tord did to piss one of them off.”

Matt was only confused as Leo nodded in agreement. “We need to warn Edd and Ico about this before they get seriously hurt or worse!” Tom nodded as they both went after the rest of the squad, leaving Matt behind with Confused Bitch Disorder.

Leo and Tom arrived only to find Edd and Ico trapped under a log with Edd knocked out underneath it and the reaper beast literally screaming at Tord. {“You really think you can escape fucking death by killing MY reapers?! You think a fucking GUN is gonna help you against ME?! FACT CHECK DUMBASS I'M the GODDESS of fucking DEATH! You can’t kill me if you tried! You're gonna fucking PAY for killing MY reapers and that payment is gonna be the fucking soul you’ve owed us for months!”} Tom and Leo looked confused as this 14ft tall werewolf-like monster loomed over Tord with her scythe hand at his throat; Tom would’ve been happy for this, had it not been the situation.

“W-what?! I didn’t sign my soul to the devil! If, uh, that's who your working for of course, ma’am.”

She moved the blade closer to this throat. {“You think i work for LUCIFER!?”} She laughed only for her to move the blade under his chin with malice in her tone. {“I don’t work for jack SHIT. You should’ve died, Tord. Your robot’s explosion was FATAL, but your dumb Red Army teammates killed my reaper before he could get you and you recovered so quickly YOU began to kill the reapers I sent after you to get that fucking soul of yours where it belongs! You’ve caused us so much shit we are undermanned! I have to do the killing myself!”}

Tord froze with a pained look in his eyes. He was supposed to be DEAD?! Should he let her take his soul and get it over with? He can’t exactly fight back against something that isn’t even solid... He shut his eyes in defeat and awaited the cold blade of the scythe to slice through him and just end it already. The beast raised her scythe and was about to slash down on Tord’s throat and end it until a voice called out to her:

“WAIT!”

She froze and looked at the two ‘humans’ standing nearby with a shocked expression on her face. {“What are you two doing. Trying to fight me to save your friend here? It's pointless you know.”} She sounded annoyed, but Tom and Leo didn’t budge as Tom spoke up.

“We aren’t here to fight you, moon goddess. We want to see if we can do anything so you DON’T kill him. We kinda need him around, you know.”

She tilted her head in confusion. {“You.. Want to talk me out of this. Or do favors to let me spare him. You don’t get it, he KILLED my reapers. We barely have enough to handle the daily death toll and he basically fucked us over. I used to have a lot more free time for my friends and family and he fucked it over!”}

Leo piped in. “But Tord didn’t know that they were reapers! He was just defending himself!”

Tom nodded in agreement. “Yeah, and why make your reapers mortal in the first place? Why not make them unkillable so it can be easier?”

A bright purple blush appeared on her face as she began to shout. {“I'M FREAKIN' THE GODDESS OF DEATH! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW HARD IT IS TO CREATE SOMETHING ALIVE IN GENERAL?! The deity of life can't even USE her powers to help me right now! I'm stuck on this on my freakin' own! I don’t care if he was defending himself, he fucked me over!!”}

Rhi piped in from a tree not far from the group. “HEY! Maybe Tord can be a temporary reaper to work off the ones he killed until you can get the numbers back up! Its better then just offing him, it lets him suffer!”

This made the beast stop what she was doing and actually think about it. Her scythe soon became a hand as she got off of Tord, who sat up and looked at Tom and Leo with a shocked expression on his face as he wiped off the goop from his sweater. {“Well, I can’t argue with forced labour. It does sound like a better punishment.”} She looked over at Tord and put a claw under his chin. {"As for you scarface, I better see you next week at six A.M. sharp at the front of your little apartment complex for your first day of work or else I’ll reconsider killing you for what you’ve done.”} She then pulled off his disguise mask and let it fall to the ground, making Leo look at Tord in shock and horror as Tom was speechless at the damage on Tord’s face. {“By the way, my name is Lunaris. We may have erased our existence from your archives, but its still good to try and figure us out.”} she chirped as she melted into the ground and was gone.

Soon enough, everyone was back at camp, the moon’s phase was back at crescent, and everything was seemingly back to normal, aside from Tord’s mask being damaged and Matt throwing up every time he looked at Tord. But, other than that, it was fine.

Tom looked over at Tord and poked his shoulder. Tord didn’t jump this time, but looked over at Tom. “Hey, what is it?” He seemed confused for a moment as to why Tom wanted to talk to him, despite how he treated him beforehand.

"Dude… did I cause that to your face?”

Tord reached a hand for his damaged side and sighed. “Yeah… it was. A pretty big explosion my friend. But bygones are bygones and we are all over it. Right?”

Tom sat in silence, then chuckled softly before patting Tord’s back. “Yeah, I'm over it."


	7. good scars, evil scars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tord takes a moment to evaluate where his life is at after the camping trip. One of the Leos tries to help. Cookies are involved.
> 
> (content warning for vague reference to past abuse)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> takes place shortly after chapter 5! which in turn takes place way after everything else so far. WOO.

It had been a couple of nights since the camping trip. Tord was thankful that at least bloodstains didn’t show up on his red hoodie… He should wash it anyway, he decided as he frowned down at it. Being a part-time reaper was something he maybe took a bit too much joy out of, but it was either that or getting reaped himself so there was really only one option set out for him in that regard. Maybe he should see if his old black hoodie still fit? He’d only gotten a little bit taller, and if he pulled up the hood it would maybe help him look a little creepier…

Well, that and the lack of disguise. Tord ran the cold palm of his prosthetic hand over the uneven, burn-scarred flesh on the right side of his face. To be blunt, he looked terrible. Matt especially was still getting used to it, and Tord tried to hide how seeing the pseudo-vampire’s reaction to his scarred face for the first time had hurt. Not that Matt had meant anything by it, but somehow that made it worse.

Tord was jostled out of his morbid thoughts by a knock on his apartment door. “Come in,” he said automatically as he pulled his hoodie off and balled it up. The door creaked open as he aimed for the laundry hamper; the brunette had a moment of wishing he still had decent depth perception (seriously, it was hard to fire a gun like this, he wasn’t sure he’d ever get over that) before missing anyway as he was thrown off by hearing a gasp from behind him. That wasn’t Edd, or Matt, or Tom, and the spirit crew didn’t drop by uninvited, which meant…

Tord looked over his shoulder, then fully turned around to see Leo staring at him with a mix of emotions on his face. Tord returned the stare with a quirked eyebrow, then looked down at himself and… Oh, right, he wasn’t wearing his hoodie. He still had a tanktop on underneath it, but… it still meant the redhead got a good look at what exactly he looked like without the omnipresent hoodie.

Of course it came back around to the scars.

Leo looked like he was trying very, very hard to look away, but couldn’t. Tord scowled. Perhaps rougher than he needed to be, he walked up to him and yanked the tupperware container out of his hands, then pried the lid off. “Cookies?”

“Um, yeah,” Leo said, timid. “I made enough for everybody, y- you can keep the container if you want I have like a billion ‘cause of my mom…” Tord sized him up. This time around, Leo was wearing a hoodie colour he hadn’t seen before— kind of a green-grey, somewhat scuffed up. Pat had mentioned to him that, seeing as they didn’t have any magical artifacts like Rhi’s pendant, they tried to make distinct who was in front based off of outfit: Pat wore grey and cyan, Summer wore two-tone orange and blue, etc. Oh, and Mae, who wore orange-red and liked to try and roughhouse with him when she got excited.

The mystery alter shrank back a little and shoved their hands in their hoodie pocket. “I’m Nii,” he said after an extended silence. Tord blinked as he realized he’d been standing there, holding cookies, for way too long. “I don’t really talk to people, so you haven’t seen me before…”

“Erm, nice to meet you.” Tord fished a cookie out of the container and bit into it. Shortbread? It wasn’t the best cookie he’d ever had, but it was pretty okay. “I’m… Tord.” He mentally kicked himself. Nii probably knew that already, even if they hadn’t met until now.

He expected that to be the end of it, and for the strange new Leo to back on out and head back to his apartment so Tord could go back to whatever he’d been doing. That didn’t happen. Instead, Nii was staring at him again with that weird expression. Tord shifted his weight from foot to foot as he ate another cookie, really hoping Nii would get the hint and just leave already, but to his dismay the redhead sat down on the foot of his bed and looked up at him.

“Are you okay? What happened to your face?”

Tord knew it was coming but he choked on a cookie anyway. Nii leapt back up to his feet and hurried over, but Tord held out a hand to keep him at a distance as he coughed. “That’s rude,” he reprimanded, and Nii withdrew into his hoodie. Oh, great, he was one of the Leos that had a kicked-puppy face. It was bad enough when Matt did it… He didn’t really feel like apologizing, though. Maybe just a little... “Sorry— It’s a sore subject.”

“I understand,” Nii mumbled as he sat back down. “I’m sorry, I… We…” He fumbled with his words. “Did the moon wolf do that?”

Tord couldn’t help himself— he laughed, a short, nasty bark. “What, her? No! No, this was… something different.” He closed the lid on the cookies and set them on his bedside table. “All she did was tear the mask I wore to hide it.” Nii furrowed his brow but gave a small nod. Tord picked up the discarded hoodie, missed the shot into the hamper again, and then realized Nii still wasn’t leaving. “Did Edd not tell you?”

“No.” Nii ran his fingers over the knot on his hoodie drawstrings. “Tom hinted at things a couple of times, but never really said anything.”

Tord sighed. He wasn’t going to get out of this. “Okay, storytime, then.” He sat down and held out his arm for Nii to get a good look at it. “I was Edd’s friend. I did something stupid… decided I liked the sound of ‘ruling the world’ better than going on ‘Eddventures’ with him.” He made airquotes with his other hand. “Vanished without a trace and joined the Red Army. Got aaaall the way up to the top, and became the commander… then realized there was something I was missing to really kick off my plans of world domination. So I tricked my way back into Edd’s house, broke his heart, broke Matt’s face, and stole a giant robot.”

Nii listened with wide eyes. Tord continued: “Of course, no one was happy about that. Besides me. I was… a jerk. Matt couldn’t stop me although he got a good few hits in, Edd couldn’t stop me, and Tom… well, Tom shot the robot with that harpoon launcher of his he still keeps around for some reason, and hit something critical. Robot blows up, and there goes about half of my body.” Tord mimed an explosion. “Boom. No eye, no arm, scars all over… I was about ready to bleed out on that hill, if not for two other members of the Red Army coming to my rescue. And, according to that wolf, I was supposed to die there. Except I didn’t, and I’ve been shooting anything else that tries to kill me, sooo…”

Nii didn’t say anything. Tord stood up and stretched his arms over his head. “Anyway, that’s the story. Edd forgave me for some reason, Matt… might have actually forgotten, and Tom still holds a grudge. Meanwhile, I did what I could to hide my scars so I wouldn’t look… weak.”

It felt weird opening up like that. Honestly, Tord wasn’t sure how he felt. Surprised that Nii didn’t already know, maybe— he was certain Tom would have spread the word as a warning as soon as he got a minute alone with anyone. Apparently not.

There was a rustling noise, and Tord turned around in time to see Nii pull off his hoodie. “It’s not really the same,” he stammered, “but… on the topic of scars…” Tord raised an eyebrow as Nii rolled up the sleeve of his T-shirt to expose the entirety of his left arm. “S- Sorry, I thought… well… It’s not, um, anywhere— anything— like you have, but…”

Tord leaned in. He’d seen the tiny raised plus-shaped scar on the back of Leo’s hand before, but as Nii held his arm up to the light the brunette could now see several marks covered his skin, starting at the shoulder. Some were small dots, probably caused by acne or badly-healed bug bites, but others… “What happened?” he asked, incredulous, as he turned Nii’s arm over and stared at the barely-visible outline of discoloured skin on the system’s inner wrist.

Leo had a tendency to laugh when nervous. The noise Nii made barely qualified as a laugh at all. “Our old roommate… she…” He swallowed hard. The hand Tord wasn’t holding lifted up to touch the side of his neck. ‘Ignore the memories. Focus on where you are now.’ “L- Like I said, it’s not…”

Tord shook his head. “What are these? These don’t look like knife wounds…” He’d gotten pretty familiar with injuries and how they healed from his stint in the Red Army, but try as he might he couldn’t place it. It wasn’t anything magical or mysterious, just… odd. Nii jerked his head to gesture at his shoulder, and Tord squinted at the dotted line of white marks there. “Wait— bite marks?!”

“She took some skin off my thumb, too,” Nii said in an odd tone. Tord directed his attention there and stared at the white line, somewhat off-center on the thumbprint. “And it’s— it’s healed I think, but our ear… Um. A-Anyway.” He pulled away from Tord and grabbed his hoodie. “I… we… we used to, um, we—” He squeezed his eyes shut tight. “We thought it might… help, if you— if you saw we have scars too. I know they’re not as bad as yours, but…”

Tord took a moment to process this. “Does Edd know?” he asked finally. Nii shook his head.

“No,” he said in a soft tone. “We don’t bring up our past much around anybody… Leo’s boyfriend knows, and some of our friends back home, but— but you’re the first one… here, we’ve told.”

Wow.

Tord turned this new information over in his head as he rummaged around for the cookies again. Nii perked up a little as Tord held one out to him. “Thanks,” he said, somewhat awkward. “For… for the cookies, and for the talk.” Nii watched him, curious, even as he accepted the cookie and nibbled on the end. “It feels like a weight off my chest.”

“I don’t think Edd hates you,” Nii said suddenly. Tord nearly dropped his own cookie. “And I think Tom is just mad at you because he doesn’t want you to hurt Edd or Matt again. I— I don’t know if that helps, but…”

“…it helps a little.” Was he smiling? He might’ve been smiling a little. Not in a happy way, but… sort of sad. Sort of relieved. “Thank you, Nii.”

The hug was unexpected, and Tord stiffened as Nii wrapped his arms around him. “Y’can talk to me whenever,” he mumbled into Tord’s shoulder. “N’ I think T1’d like to see your robots, if you still have any.”

Tord gave him a confused look. “I built robots to kill people.”

Nii shrugged a little, then let go. “Tom told me he blew up half the town, I think you’re par for the course.”


	8. A Kidnapping eddgenda

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Something strange is happening at night, gunshots and potato sacks and grumpy energy vampires

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> first time ive ever posted here properly myself. i hope yall enjoy this -w-' - StarBorb

Tom was out cold as the apartment complex shook a bit. Someone loomed over his bed with a sack, ready to pound on the sleeping eyeless man; all Tom heard was a very loud gunshot and glass breaking as he got up and looked around only to see a man with a gun IN HIS ROOM.   
“WHAT THE ACTUAL CHEESEBALL MACARONI IS GOING ON?!” he shouted as he grabbed the lamp on his bedside table. He was about to hit the intruder with it, only for said intruder to grab his wrist and do a shushing gesture towards him.   
“Tom, you need to get up, Red Leader needs you to come with us.” The voice wasn’t familiar but he assumed it was one of Tord’s friends from his old gang or something.   
“Why the fuck should I listen to you? You’re one of Tord’s lackeys from his gang!” he exclaimed, only for the guy to just groan, pick him up, and throw him over his shoulder. Tom squealed in surprise.  
“WHAT THE FUCK PUT ME DOWN!” Tom began to hit his back only for the guy to groan again.  
“I just saved your life and this is the thanks I get? Someone here is kidnapping your friends and you’re the only one I’ve found that wasn’t taken yet.” Tom froze as the guy finished his sentence.  
“What. Are you talking about.” Tom questioned only to get no response and huffed in annoyance

Tom was brought into Tord’s apartment and thrown on the couch as the guy spoke up to Tord, of whom wasn’t wearing his face mask or even his glass eye; Tom assumed that Tord was also sleeping not too long before hand. Tord wore his old Red Army jacket along with pajama pants and a black sweater underneath, boi that brought back memories.   
“Thanks Patryck for bringing Jehovah here.” Tord sighed and rubbed his temples, then looked at Tom. He walked up to him with his arms behind his back and sat on the coffee table in front of him. “Are you hurt, Jehovah? Well, aside from your dignity after being carried by another man against your will.” He laughed at that comment as Tom just groaned.   
“Yeah I'm fine, commie. What the fuck is going on?” Tom seemed annoyed and thought this whole ordeal was his fault.  
“We’re being attacked. I woke up roughly fifteen minutes ago to someone trying to kidnap me while I slept, I feared something was going to happen to you and the others so I woke up Patryck to check in on everyone else and bring them here. I guess you’re the only one they didn’t take yet?” Tom’s eyes widened at the explanation. It made sense since Tord looked like he just woke up as well. He groaned in agony and flopped on the couch.  
“How the fuck could I have been so STUPID, Edd, Matt, and Leo are probably gone and I'm stuck with the commie and his lackeys.” Paul facepalmed and Patryck groaned in annoyance. It made the two wish that Edd, Leo, or Matt were the only ones not taken. Tord, on the other hand, slapped Tom to his senses.  
“Shut up Jehovah, we have other matters to attend to, we need to wake up Phoenix.” Tom’s eyes went white with shock once he mentioned her name.   
“Wake up Phoenix-- ARE YOU INSANE?! She’s probably gone too!” Tom was nervous, as he remembered how they even met her for the first time. She HATED being woken up, and tore off a man’s arm to prove it. In all honesty, Tom felt he was afraid of her in the morning.  
“Re-lax Tom, if she sees me, Patryck, and Paul are there in our uniforms she’ll know what is up.” He patted Tom’s shoulder, got up from the table, and gestured for Paul and Patryck to follow him. Tom regrettably did the same.

He was the one who knocked on her door and hoped to god she wasn’t there so then he wouldn’t have to deal with a very pissed off energy vampire. Oh boy was he wrong; he heard shuffling behind the door as multiple locks were being unlocked and the door opened. He saw what looked like a mix of her true self and human disguise in front of him, but also how curvy she actually was. It made him blush a bit, as he was weak to hot ladies.  
“Ummm hi Pho-” He was cut off by her in seconds.  
“Tom. It’s four in the morning what the fuck do you want.” Hearing her sound so pissed off made him jump in place; he never wanted to deal with a tired Phoenix again, but Tord walked up beside him and put a firm hand on his shoulder.  
“Firebird we need your help.” Phoenix was shocked to see Tord in his state as well but also noticed Patryck and Paul were there. She put a monstrous hand to her face and groaned into it before gesturing for them to come in.   
“Soooo Phoenix, are you always this curvy? Your breasts are normally smaller when we see you during th-”  
He was cut off again. “Tom, i wear a sports bra in this form during the day, thats why my fucking tits looks smaller and no I do not wear a bra when i go to bed. Only those that are close to me as a person know that.” She sounded very annoyed at him   
“It’s true Jehovah, I’ve known that for at least a month or so,” Tord stated, only for Tom to be even MORE confused.  
“Wait, a month or so? We’ve only known her for two weeks, how did you know her for more than a month?” Tom glared at Tord, but he only shrugged in response.  
“She moved in before I did. We were roommates for a while ‘til my place was finally vacant.” Tom was definitely jealous Tord got to be roommates with a hot chick. But he knew that the two weren’t dating, Phoenix wasn’t into that, she made it known after she gave Matt a sore crotch after how hard she kicked him for asking.   
“What’s going on, RD? Why are you in your old uniform?” Phee questioned in a seemingly calm tone while Tord prepared himself to explain everything to the energy vampire.  
“Basically Firebird, Edd, Leo, and Matt have all been abducted from their homes while they slept; Patryck managed to stop another before they got Jehovah’s Witness. I managed to shoot mine square in the chest so I wasn’t taken.” Phoenix just stared, then laughed.   
“Wow, I guess I'm lucky to lock my door when I sleep after Tom basically shot me.”  
That made Tord’s face grow pale, only for her to freeze as he began to glare at Tom. “Tom what the fuck.” he exclaimed coldly at him only for Phoenix to exclaim out loud.  
“Tord, it was an accident, he thought I was Mothman! I was scaring Edd and he was just trying to make him feel better!” This made tord just sigh, mouthing off ‘Don’t do it again’ to Tom while giving him the ‘I'm watching you gesture’. He then proceeded to explain the rest of the situation to Phoenix, and she seemed to understand until he pulled out Edd’s hoodie.   
“Firebird, I need you to track down Edd with your superior sense of smell. I wouldn't have bothered you with this had it not been a bad time altogether.” She sighed and grabbed the sweater from his hand and tied it around her neck.  
“I'm not ditching this, Red Demon. Just saying. It could also help us get back home if someone forgets the GPS again.” Tom looked at her confused. Again? What the fuck did she do with Tord before? This was going to be a long adventure.


	9. A Kidnapping Eddperience

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The rescue gang meet some harsh complications. but an unlikely scenario brings back their A game

The gang of four were sitting in a truck. Tom was forced to sit crammed beside Paul while Tord and Patryck got the front seat, and Phoenix in her full true form was flying ahead of them to lead the way to their friends.  
“Are you SURE I need to come with you guys? I'm not even armed like you are!” Tom exclaimed in annoyance, only for Tord to wave his arm back towards him to calm down.  
“Re-LAX Jehovah, you’re just fine with us. Plus, what if more of those guys showed up to take you and you’re asleep when they showed up? I need Patryck and Paul to get the others back so you’re stuck with us.” He laughed and leaned back on the side of the truck door. “But I wish we got more sleep than we already did. I can’t keep my eye open,” he grunted into his hand.  
Paul leaned on Tom, making him grunt in annoyance and try to push him off, only for him to flop back onto Tom. Tord would have laughed at his dismay had he not been dozing off himself. He was about to shut his eye when something hit the truck from the side and startled everyone awake.  
Tord leaned out to see who hit their truck, only to have a bullet speed by and almost hit him as he managed to duck back into the truck in time. He looked back out to see that they were obviously being attacked by their friends’ kidnappers. He pulled out his AK-47 and began to shoot at their pursuers as he shouted back towards Paul and Tom, “You boys better start covering our backs before we lose our truck AND our lives!” He grunted as another bullet whizzed by his head, making him start shooting back at them.  
Paul passed Tom a submachine gun and proceeded to start shooting at the enemy whenever Tord ducked back to reload. Tom was startled by the fact they openly gave him a gun, but shrugged his shoulders and began to shoot at their pursuers as well. The gunfight lasted a good five minutes as Patryck made sure to swerve past the bullets while trying to track down Phoenix as she flew higher in the air to avoid being shot herself; Tom ran out of ammo quickly and leaned back in to try and find some more, but he found something even better.  
“Keep firing! Either one of us will run out of ammo against them and I don't want it to be us!” Tord exclaimed as he reloaded his AK.  
“Oh, don’t worry, Christmas has come early!” Tom shouted with glee as he sat on the window with his anti-Claus RPG and shot at their enemies, gaining a direct hit. Tord’s jaw basically dropped as the tires bounced around and the enemy car was now just smoking hot rubble that was growing smaller as they got some distance away from it.  
“I forgot you had an RPG, Tom, was it in your beer bag you desperately wanted to drag along?” Tord said with a bit of jealousy in his tone.  
“Yeah, I forgot I take my beer bag to the roof on Christmas and just put it in there while fucking wasted,” he laughed as he put it back in the bag. “A happy accident I guess.” Tom laughed again as Tord looked forward with a chuckle.  
“A happy accident indeed, Jehovah. A happy accident indeed.”

The sun was beginning to rise as Phoenix landed by an abandoned building out in the countryside. She began to use her claws to comb at the fur on her wings while Patryck parked the truck near her location.  
“We’ve arrived, Red Leader, should we arm ourselves?” Patryck spoke with worry in his tone. Tord nodded as Paul handed Tom another AK-47 and grabbed one for himself; Tord handed his to Patryck, hopped out of the truck, and walked around back to grab the powerhouse he brought for the occasion. He armed himself with a freshly sharpened machete and pulled out an M249-SAW, then laughed as he held the support machine gun and aimed it at Tom.  
“Oh boy I am so glad I bought this before we left, these things are utter beasts in the battlefield if you know how to use one right. Now, lets go get our friends back!” Tord laughed again as he walked over to Phoenix, patting her back to signify he was ready. Tom was jealous that Tord got himself a new gun, but shrugged it off as he grabbed his beerbag and swung it over his shoulder. He’d secretly packed it with more guns and ammunition while everyone except Patryck slept for the hour that was left in the drive to the kidnapper’s base; he was actually excited he got to do cool military stuff with Tord, but he was too proud to admit it.  
“Alright, from what I can sense from Edd, he, Matt, and Leo are trapped two floors down in the same room with a lot of guards in there. We better make it out in one piece or else I am probably going to eat your dead bodies, so lets make this quick cuz I want to go the fuck to bed,” Phoenix explained with heavy annoyance in her tone. Tom could feel a shiver run down his spine as she mentioned she’d eat him if he was K.I.A, but he had to push forward for Leo, Edd, and the pansy.  
Tord rushed to the bushes nearby the entrance that was guarded by at least four guys. He squatted down as the other three went up to him and squatted with him, “Alright, there are at least four guys guarding the entrance, we each take them down with one shot to the head at the same time so they DON’T call for backup. Got that?” Tord clapped his hands together, hoping that the others would understand what he meant, but he noticed quickly he was one man short, or woman in this case. “Hey, where’s Firebi-”  
Tord was cut short of his question only to hear a man cry out in terror and the gruesome yet familiar sound of a human being having his arm ripped off violently. He looked over the bush to see Phoenix brutally murdering two of the four guards. The other two tried to shoot her down, only for them to get tackled down and mauled to death as well.  
“Welp, what now commie?” Tom said coldly as he watched four men get murdered by an energy vampire. Tord’s jaw literally dropped as he witnessed how violent Phoenix could really get as Tom patted his shoulder. “Told ya Phoenix was violent when woken up, I watched her tear off a man's arm before and I know she won’t hesitate to do it again.” Tom walked on ahead as Tord collected his bearings and followed him in.  
They blasted their way through guards and anyone else that had a gun until they reached the final floor where their friends were being held. Tom looked at Tord and the others and nodded. Phoenix chose to stay outside due to being too tired to change back into her human form, and just casually took a nap upside down in a tree. Tord and Tom kicked the doors down and barged into the room, only to find Edd tied up in front of them with a gun to his head.  
“Guys! It’s a trap!!” Edd exclaimed, only to get hit in the head with the handle of the gun as the four got surrounded by guards with weapons aimed at them. They prepared to fight back, until the man that held the gun against Edd’s head spoke up.  
“You shoot, he dies. Stand down or else your friend gets a bullet to the brain.” Edd whimpered as the gun was held against his head. Tord looked shocked, only to sigh and drop his weapon; the others were forced to do the same as the soldiers grabbed them by their arms and held them behind their backs. “Take them away, and bring Red Leader into the questioning chamber. We are going to have a very long talk~” the man hummed as two soldiers came to grab Edd and drag him away with the others.  
“I'm so sorry guys! I should’ve been more awake when they showed up, then NONE of this would’ve happened…” Edd sobbed as he leaned against the cell him and the others were shoved into. Tom went over to Edd and put a hand on his shoulder in a comforting manner.  
“You’re good Edd, it’s not just me, commie, and friends, we came here with Phoenix! She’ll notice we’re not coming out soon enough.” Tom laughed for a second until a singular thought popped into his head. “Then again… she was exhausted when we arrived and only managed to deal with the guys protecting the front door. She went to sleep in a tree and I don’t know how long her kind sleeps for.” Tom groaned and held his head in shame. Edd got up and hugged Tom in response.  
“It’s fine, Tom! I know the spirit squad AND Phoenix will rescue us! Leo says he invited Rhi and the others over for today. They’ll see we’re gone and come save us!” Edd seemed like he was just trying to bring hope back while there was none left. Tom just sighed and hugged his friend back. It was going to be a very long time before anyone realised they were gone.  
Or so he thought. An explosion rattled throughout the facility. Guards were running by and shooting at an unknown entity only to get electrocuted as a result; Edd was taken aback by this, but then he saw a familiar face.  
“Phee!” Edd rushed at the bars of the cell to try and hug her floof but to no avail. She turned to face them and grinned, her sharp metallic fangs shining in the light her body gave off.  
“Sorry I'm late, I had to go back for a charge up and some help.” She moved to the side as Ico ran up and began to pick the lock to their cell.  
“Ico?! ICO!” Edd exclaimed even louder and hugged his insectoid friend through the bars, making him squeal in surprise.  
“Edd! I'm trying to break you out, just calm down!” Ico exclaimed with annoyance in his tone as he finished picking the lock. The other spirits that were awake to say the least hovered over to the group as Draco made sure everyone was okay.  
“You guys came early! But... why? How’d you know we were in danger?” Leo asked in a confused yet worried way.  
Nila spoke up quickly. “We noticed Phoenix flying by with a truck tailing her closely, and another shooting at that truck. We got into the closest vehicle Rhi could hotwire and drove after you. Ico just so happened to be fronting at the time of this ordeal, so that’s why he’s human right now.” That seemed about right. Rhi soon piped in.  
“Yeah, and we saw Phoenix in a tree and a bunch of ketchup-covered guys in a pile beneath said tree! She was also covered in ketchup, but we helped her get into their upper fusebox to charge up and save you guys!” Ico and Nila just sighed and mumbled something about Rhi needing more sleep.  
Paul spoke up. “We still need to get Red Leader out of their interrogation room, and I don’t know if three spirits and a singular monster can help us with this. Plus, we could have more guys come down at any mom-”  
He was cut off by a guy bursting into the hallway and shooting at the gang. Everyone managed to get out of the way by going back into their cell, but Edd screamed in pain and held his arm. Tom went over to his friend and noticed Edd was hit. Edd tried to shrug it off, but Tom was beyond pissed at this  
“WHAT THE HELL BUDDY! HE’S UNARMED AND YOU SHOT HIM!” Tom shouted at the guy who was now reloading. Edd tried to calm his friend down, but got pushed aside; Phoenix wrapped herself around Edd and dragged him away from Tom as he stepped out of the cell and towards the guy, his skin growing darker and horns sprouting from his head. “DO YOU EVEN UNDERSTAND WHAT KIND OF SHIT YOU’RE IN RIGHT NOW FOR THAT?! **I AM GOING TO TEAR YOU APART LIMB FROM LIMB FOR THIS!** ” he roared at the soldier as he finished transforming. He felt bullets bounce off his thick hide as he lunged at the man and bit his entire top half off, leaving just his legs on the ground. He then turned around and bounded towards the other door as everyone except Paul, Patryck and Phoenix looked horrified at the events that had transpired in front of them.  
Tom broke through the wall and was definitely tracking down someone, most likely Tord or the man running this joint. Paul and Patryck both grabbed their guns back and Phoenix carried Edd bridal style, then turned to Ico and the others. “You guys head back outside. Ico, make sure they get back to your car safely and wait there ‘til I get back; Eddy here is going to help me calm Tom down.” She pointed towards the still intact door, then sped off, following the destruction Tom was leaving behind him.  
Paul and Patryck shot at any man that tried to get in their way as they got closer to Tom, only for Tom to suddenly turn into a room and break the door down. Tom roared as he tossed out a familiar red hoodie-wearing man out of the room; he hit the wall with a loud crack and laid there with a newfound pain in his back. He looked up to see the table going right towards him and braced himself for impact, only to get tackled away by Phoenix and Edd.  
“Phoenix?! I thought you were going to nap until we escaped!” Tord exclaimed with shock in his tone. Phoenix said nothing as she picked Tord up and held him close to Edd in a protective coil as more rubble went flying towards them, even a whole man apparently.  
“What the hell are you, you-- you bloody freak of nature!” the man who tried to shoot Edd exclaimed at Tom. He shot a few pistol rounds at Tom, only to get smacked into a wall and a clawed hand on his back as he was picked up and held into the air. “Damn you, stupid beast! I was going to finally win! Why must you do this to a future overl-” He was cut off by a satisfying crunch as Tom bit off his head and threw his body aside.  
Tom growled as he stepped out of the room and looked at Phoenix. She started to unfold her wings and reveal Edd, still holding his injured arm, and Tord, who looked like he had the shit beaten out of him. He went over to the three to at least make sure Edd and Phoenix were okay; he was a little mad at Tord for not thinking of a backup plan in case they got captured. Edd reached a hand out to Tom and papped his snoot, smiling at him. Tom then glared at the enemy soldiers as they turned around to flee from him and Phoenix.  
They soon ventured out back to the truck. Tom turned back to normal, and Phoenix crawled into the trunk and curled up to rest, still holding on to Edd as he passed out along with her. They all began to drive back, with Paul taking the wheel of the truck and Nila driving the car with Matt and Leo in it.  
“Hey, commie? Why the heck did that guy want us anyways?” Tom looked at Tord with his empty eyes in a very confused yet annoyed tone.  
“He wanted information I couldn’t give, and he thought getting you guys to use as blackmail would get it. I'm sorry I dragged you and the others into this; this is my problem that I should've dealt with before leaving the Red Army.” Tord sounded disappointed with himself as he held his face and sighed, but Tom patted his back instead.  
“I'm mad that everyone got kidnapped, but it was a wild ride to get them back. These kinds of adventures are fun, but stop keeping secrets. You know Edd hates that.” Tord groaned as Tom laughed at his dismay.  
“I'm serious though, no more secrets.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my first time ever properly writing violence and posting it, ive been told its good by the co-authors but im not too sure myself ~StarBorb


	10. Vel Fuck deg til fire-eyed katten

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tord and Rhi fight. Big shocker. Then Tord teaches Rhi Norwegian. Oh boy…

To say that Rhi and Tord hated one another was a bit of an overstatement...but you would be forgiven for thinking otherwise. The two, with Rhi in their spirit form, were once again at each other’s throats. The reason? Because Tord accidentally stepped on one of their cat’s tails. Now the two were locked in a room at Edd’s apartment dubbed “The get along room.” Although so far this room seemed to make things worse.

“You absolute piece of #$&^! This is your fault!” Rhi spat, attempting to claw the door open.

“My fault?! You’re the one that made a big deal of it! I even checked to see if your ‘BB’ was okay, and he was!” Tord snapped back, sitting in a corner to the left of Rhi.

“YOU STEPPED ON HIS TAIL!! And he’s my baby!” Rhi growled, letting out a slight hiss.

“You have six cats, I’m sure even they can tell he wasn’t hurt.”

“Tord, he yowled! He only does that when he’s in pain! His tail might be broken you %&#$.”

“Vel Fuck deg til fire-eyed katten!” Tord snapped in Norwiegen.

“Well Vel Fuck deg til fire-eyed katten to you too!” Rhi snapped, mocking his accent at one point. Tord blinked, a bit stunned. Then, to Rhi’s surprise, Tord began to bust into a fit of laughter, kneeling over from doing so. “What’s so funny horn hair?!”

“Oh my god, du dum katten, that makes no sense when you say it!” Tord laughed, starting to cough from laughing so hard. When he noticed Rhi’s look of confusion, he calmed himself down to explain. “Vel Fuck deg til fire-eyed katten means ‘Well fuck you too four-eyed cat.’”

Rhi gained a look of embarrassment as Tord started laughing again, “Sh-Shut up! I don’t know Norwiegen!”

After a few seconds of Tord calming down and some silence, he finally spoke up, “I could teach you.”

Rhi gained a skeptical look as they glared at Tord, “What’s the catch?” 

“You stop being so mean and give me a chance,” Tord replied, “I’m sick of fighting over the smallest, dumbest of things.”

“Not my fault you tried to kill Ico,” Rhi grumbled, then sighed, “Fine…”

***

“It’s been an hour, we can let them out!” Edd proclaimed as he headed to the door, Leo and Ico close behind.

“You think it worked?” Leo asked, a bit of a worried look on his face. Ico shared the same look, although his had a mix of skepticism on it as well.

“Knowing those two...no,” Ico sighed, “Let’s hurry and get this over with…”

As soon as the trio opened the door, they spotted Tord and Rhi laughing as Rhi kept speaking a different language. Edd knew what language it was almost immediately and snorted. “It worked alright.”

“De har ingen anelse hva vi sier” Tord snickered, “Hello Edd.”

“Grønn hettegenser ser fantastisk,” Rhi said, “Men gult er bedre.”

“What?” Ico asked, “English please!”

“Nah, I’m good,” Rhi laughed before speaking with Tord again.

Ico turned to Edd and gave an annoyed look, “It worked too well.” The only response he got was Edd and Leo laughing.


	11. ninja pirate zombie robot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leo has a minor identity crisis and decides to talk to Edd about it. Being the odd one out can be frustrating.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HI WHOOPS IVE BEEN FORGETTING TO POST MY CHAPTERS

Edd didn’t even look up as Leo landed face-down in the couch beside him. “Uuuurgh,” the redhead groaned. “Eeeeedd. Edd, what would you do if I was secretly an alien?”

Edd thought about it. “Are you gonna kill me and wear my skin?”

“What? No!” Leo pushed himself up so he wasn’t chewing on the couch cushions anymore. “No, I’d just be a cool alien. Maybe with antennae. And a tail.” He rested his chin in his hands, propping himself up with his elbows. “Or maybe what if I was a werewolf? But like, a nice werewolf.”

“Is this real or hypothetical?”

“Yes? Mathmetician’s answer.” Leo chewed on his lower lip. “What if I was a zombeh? Or from a parallel universe? Or an alien werewolf from a parallel universe that died and became a zombeh?”

Edd set his phone aside and raised an eyebrow at Leo. “Uh… Well, that would all be pretty cool, but also I think you’re just sticking words together now.”

“It wouldn’t be too weird for you, though,” Leo pointed out. “I mean… Edd, you’re illegal in at least five states.”

Edd looked up from where he was counting on his hand. “Solid, liquid, and gas?”

Leo gave him a deadpan look Tom would be jealous of. “I was thinking more Kentucky, Illinois, Michigan, Idaho, and Dallas.” He paused. “Wait, no, Dallas isn’t a state… Well, it’s a state of mind. --What I’m getting at is that you’re, like, super radioactive. And seriously, though, what’s up with Tom? There’s more to his spooky factor than just those solid black eyes.” Leo shivered. “He kinda gives me the creeps, sometimes. Do you think those are empty sockets, or—?”

“Tom’s possessed by a great old one we found in those Egyptian ruins under our house,” Edd supplied helpfully. Leo stared at him.

“…Why is it that the thing I’m having the hardest time with out of that sentence is that you found a Lovecraftian horror in an  _ Egyptian _ tomb?”

“It wasn’t a tomb!”

“You fought _mummies_ , Edd.”

“I’m just saying, if you  _ were _ any of those things, wouldn’t you know?” he pressed. Leo rolled off the couch and landed on the floor. With half-lidded eyes, he stared at the raised scar on the back of his hand.

“I have at least a two-month memory gap and spent most of my childhood dissociated while my family moved around a lot,” he said. “On top of, you know, Dissociative Identity Disorder. I could be anything and I’d have no idea.” He turned his head to look up at Edd from his spot on the floor. “What about you? When did you find out you have superpowers?”

Edd kicked his feet. “I got blasted with pure radiation from Eduardo’s stupid satellite dish, got sick, and when I woke up I blew a hole in the wall because I got scared by a bee.”

Leo blinked. Edd shrugged. “Okay… How did Tom find out he’s possessed?”

Edd opened his mouth, thought for a moment, then shrugged. “I don’t know? He was acting weird for ages, then one day he goes ‘you can’t possess something twice’ and it turns out he’s been a meat puppet for Yg’thulu or whatever.”

“Matt’s vampirism?”

“He doesn’t even remember he’s a vampire half the time, I don’t know if he counts.”

“He  _ absolutely  _ counts!” Leo jolted up. Edd shrank back, but Leo didn’t seem to notice. “All of you have weird mutations or superpowers or are mythological creatures and I’m… normal! And that feels weird!”

Edd waited to see if Leo would rant further. When he didn’t, he moved from his spot on the couch to sit on the floor next to the redhead. “Jorb and Lucy are normal,” he pointed out. “And Tord, all he has is that robot arm!” (“And being recruited as a reaper for a bit,” Leo muttered.) “And Hellucard! And the neighbours— wait, no, Eduardo’s got powers too, and Jon’s dead, uh…” He scratched the back of his head. “Why are you so worked up over this?”

Leo hugged his knees and rested his chin on them. “I just feel like I’m overlooking something,” he complained. “Like there’s something about me I don’t get and it should be totally obvious and me finding out is gonna be this big cool plot twist moment.” He frowned a little. “Plus the spirit crew is… the spirit crew… and Phee is a big monster in disguise. It kinda feels like I don’t match.”

Edd’s eyes lit up. “Maybe we just need to try and find what your power is!”

Leo side-eyed him. “Please don’t try to recreate the ‘leap of faith’ scenes from Into the Spider-verse with me, I’m scared of heights and might throw up on your shoes.”


	12. mirror images

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mae discovers that messing around with weird magical objects you don't understand can scare the shit out of you.

Edd hummed as he carried his groceries (which were about 59% cola) back to his apartment. Things had calmed down after their last high-energy adventure, and for once he was thankful for it. Not  _ everything _ had to be a life or death experience, right?

His senses went on high alert. Someone was in his apartment. Did he forget to lock the door? What if he was in danger? Tensed up and holding his cola close to him, he slowly opened the door. A quick scan of the entry didn’t show any madmen with knives or guns, but he could clearly hear a voice now, if somewhat muffled from distance.

“No no it’s okay, Leo, I’ve got this!” Wait. That was Leo’s voice? “See, look, I’m almost done, and I’m being careful!” Edd lowered his guard and peered around the corner. Sure enough, Leo was sitting cross-legged on the floor and talking to himself. In front of him, like a jigsaw puzzle, was a broken mirror. Most of the large pieces had already been glued back together, and the alter was very carefully holding another chunk as they tried to reassure the others that they weren’t about to injure themself.

Edd knocked on the wall. “Leo?” The redhead jumped and dropped the glass. “Sorry! Uh… Why are you in my apartment?”

Leo lowered his arms from where they’d reflexively covered their head. Edd noted that they were wearing the cyan hoodie, which didn’t really tell him all that much; he was getting better at associating colours to the various Leos, but the cyan hoodie could mean either ‘Leo himself’ or ‘someone that doesn’t want to identify themself right now’. As he watched, the system shook their head and ran their hands through their hair, then looked up and grinned at him sheepishly.

“Hi, Edd, it’s Leo,” Leo said. “Uh… I wanted to get us out of the apartment, so I thought we’d go visit you..? And your door was unlocked, but you weren’t home, so we were gonna wait for you.” He uncrossed his legs and tried to get to his feet. Edd set his groceries down and helped him get his balance. “But, uh… Well… Mae and Summer got bored, and started going through your stuff. And then we found that.” He gestured at the mostly-repaired mirror on the floor. “And then Nii got involved, because he likes fixing broken things, and he thought he’d be doing you a favour so you wouldn’t be mad at us for Summer raiding your stuff…”

Edd took a moment to process all of that. “Uh… Okay! That’s a little weird, but okay.” He couldn’t always understand the thought processes going through Leo’s head, but he supposed that was a side-effect of it being more like a chorus of people throwing around ideas. “I’ll let you do that.” Unsure of what else to say, he picked his groceries back up and headed off to the kitchen to start putting them away. Behind him, he could hear Leo start a whispered argument with himself; he couldn’t make out the words, but he could at least catch the gist: Pat being frustrated at the entire scenario, Nii feeling guilty, Leo trying desperately to corral everyone into acting remotely sane for, like, five minutes, holy shit.

“You can take the mirror home if you want,” Edd cut in, speaking loudly to make sure his voice carried. The argument stopped. “We got it a while ago, then something weird happened and Matt dropped it so it broke.” Behind him, Leo raised an eyebrow at ‘something weird’. Edd didn’t see. “But, finders keepers, right?”

“I guess?” Leo was taken aback. Edd closed the fridge door, pulled the redhead into a hug, then pressed a can of cola into his hand. Leo looked like he wasn’t sure if he should cry out of anxiety, cry out of gratitude, or object that he’s not the biggest fan of cola anyway. “Um… thanks.” Then, in a quieter voice, “Sorry.”

Edd clapped him on the shoulder. “It’s fine! I know things are, uh…” He hesitated. Leo looked away. “—Well, it’s fine! I’ll come check in on you later, okay?” Leo nodded. Satisfied, Edd helped him pack up the mirror and the remaining broken glass into the box the redhead had found them in and walked him back to his apartment. “Remember, I’m next door if you need me!”

Leo closed the door behind him, stumbled into the bedroom, set the mirror and the soda down on his bedside table, then faceplanted into his bed with a groan. Great. If Edd didn’t think he was a weirdo already, he definitely did now. Sure, Nii had the best intentions, but that entire scene had gone rather badly from his perspective. Pat agreed.

‘ _ I don’t think he’s mad at us, though? _ ’ Summer chimed in. ‘ _ I think he’s just trying to help. I mean, he gave us the mirror, right? So we can fix it on our own time and in our own space. _ ’

‘ _ I guess. _ ’ Mae sounded unsure. ‘ _ I’ve just got a weird feeling about… all of this. About the mirror. _ ’

Leo closed his eyes. The system’s inner universe came into sharper focus around him: he was laying facedown on the floor in a living room, with Summer crouched down next to him. Mae was on a nearby couch, looking unhappy, and Nii had left the room entirely. Leo pushed himself up into a sitting position to blink at Mae. “What do you mean, ‘weird feeling’? You’re the one that found it.”

Mae shrugged. Here in the headspace, she didn’t even bother with looking remotely human, which meant that Leo had the very unique experience of being shrugged at by a cat in a t-shirt. “I’unno. And, like, Edd said ‘something weird’ happened, right? Is this shit magic?”

“I hope not,” Pat mumbled. The fluffy monster was on the other end of the couch from Mae and in a jumbled heap that didn’t look even remotely comfortable. Leo winced. Pat was sort of the second-in-command alongside Leo himself, and as a side-effect he was often caught in the crossfire of whatever the system and their friends had gotten themselves tangled up in. 

Leo was jolted out of his focus by feeling something small, furry, and very friendly land next to his head. “Hi, Pepper,” he mumbled. At least she wasn’t getting herself stuck in cabinets right now. In the back of his head he could hear the rest of the system continue to discuss the mirror and what to do with it; to his surprise, a few of the others joined in as well, varying between skeptical to enthusiastic and anywhere on the spectrum in between. He sighed, sat up, and hugged his cat.

“Okay, guys,” he said out loud to catch everyone’s attention. “How about we fix it, then give it to Matt?”

‘ _ Then it’s his problem _ ,’ Mae snorted. ‘ _ Okay, cool. …So, do any of us actually  _ **_like_ ** _ cola? _ ’

* * *

It was nice to give Nii something to do, Leo reflected. Out of the fronters, he was perhaps the shyest and most withdrawn, but giving him a reason to front— even if it was just to work on his project— did wonders for his mood. As such, it didn’t take long for the mirror to be repaired.

Nothing spectacular happened when he glued the final piece in. It was still just a mirror, with hair-thin cracks across the surface. A ripple of disappointment spread through the system. Despite their initial worry, the group— mostly Mae— had started getting excited about the possibility of it being something magical or cool that they could show off to their friends. Instead, it was just a really big mirror.

“And then we’ve got to let the glue set overnight, like when we fixed our microphone, yeah?” Mae asked. Nii made a noise of agreement. “Okay, cool.” She set it up atop one of the bedroom shelves, not exactly out of reach of Pepper if she wanted to go after it but out of her usual range of ‘I want to eat this’. “I’m gonna go let Edd know we fixed it, then tomorrow we’ll give it to Matt.” She sounded a bit disgruntled, but waved it off. That ‘weird feeling’ hadn’t quite left, but not  _ everything _ had to be a brand new adventure.

Night fell. Mae stayed up to grind levels on her feral druid as she friendly-berated her party member for being a total clown, then signed off of Warcraft, set her laptop aside, refilled Pepper’s food and water bowls, and didn’t even bother taking off her hoodie before collapsing into bed. Even with how tired she was, it still took her a while to fall asleep. Try as she might, her thoughts kept wandering back to their previous adventures, and to the mirror.

Eventually, she fell asleep. Not long after she did, the cracks in the mirror glowed with a strange light. The cracks mended, bit by bit, until it looked like it had never been broken at all. Pepper sat up from where she was curled up next to Mae, pupils dilated and fur standing on end, as the glow intensified.

“Mrrgh…” Mae groaned as Pepper nudged her. “Fuck, did I forget to close the door? I’m not gonna feed you, it’s like…” She felt around for her phone and squinted at the screen. “…four AM?” Why was it so bright, then? Pepper took off like a bolt through the open bedroom door, startling Mae enough for her to jolt upright in bed. Her eyes darted around before landing on where the mirror was resting. Oh, fuck. “Uh, guys? Leo? …Leo?”

The surface of the mirror rippled, then a figure shoved their head through. In the light cast by the mirror, Mae could make out that they looked… somewhat like Edd? They stared at her, confused.

Mae screamed. The stranger screamed back. Running on a level of fear she’d never experienced before, Mae grabbed her pillow and swung it full-force at the mirror. The stranger disappeared back into it with a flash, and the light stopped, leaving Mae all alone in the bedroom. Trembling, Mae felt around and turned on the lamp. The mirror looked… normal. Repaired, but normal.

She was having a nightmare. Or one of those episodes where her body woke up but her brain didn’t. Last time they’d done that, Leo had slapped their lamp off the bedside table in a panic and was grateful to discover that he hadn’t broken it once he came to his senses. Before that, they’d hallucinated a shadowy shape chasing them that might’ve been Pepper, only to get woken up fully by Pepper herself meowing in worry after hearing them screaming. They were overwhelming, and terrifying, and it had probably happened again after over a year. “This shit is really getting to me,” Mae mumbled as she clicked the light back off. The mirror didn’t glow. No other mysterious forces appeared. Feeling a hundred times more exhausted than she was earlier, Mae reluctantly climbed back into bed and fell back asleep.

It wasn’t until she woke up the next day that she realized one of her pillows was missing.


	13. Videogame Showdown

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter on what happens when Mario party if played by three dorks.

To say Rhi and Ico were bored was very close to being correct. They had tried their games, as well as some of Edd’s when he and Leo came over, but neither of the two seemed entertained by them. Maybe it was the heat? Probably since Edd and Leo were also sluggish. At the moment they were just watching tv “I’m going to head back home,” Edd said as he stood up, the calicos circling him after losing their seat.

 

“You want the games?” Ico asked,

 

“Nah, I’ll come get them next time,” Edd shrugged, “Have fun.”

 

“We’ll try,” Rhi snickered, then sighed as Edd left, leaving the trio on their own, “Hooray…now what?”

 

“Hey Leo, know any good games?” Ico asked, “Out of the ones we have.”

 

Leo got up and began to scour the games for something. That’s when they spotted a new looking game and picked it up. “Mario Party 10?”

 

“Mario Party? Sounds fun,” Ico said as he sat up. 

 

“Oh it is alright,” Rhi snickered, knowing full well what the trio would be in for.  _ I got a good feeling about this… _

 

“So how does this work?” Ico ask as Leo set everything up.

 

“It’s like a massive board game, The goal is to get the most party stars,” Leo started, “You can buy stars or steal them from other people. You can also steal coins too.”

 

“I’ll win,” Rhi said Ico went first, only to lose some coins.

 

“This game sucks already,” Ico grumbled.

 

“It’s only game, why you have to be mad?” Rhi snickered, gaining a glare from Ico, “I got a VERY good feeling about this.”

 

***

 

“I HATE THIS GAME!” Rhi yowled in anger as their only star were taken from their character. Ico and Leo were to busy laughing as Leo’s character got the star. “I’m holding back my urge to throw this damn controller out the window.”

 

“Relax Rhi, it’s just a game,” Ico laughed.

 

“Oh you fu-”

 

“Results are in!” Leo said as the game ended. The stars and coins were tallied, the bonus stars were given out, and the winner was...Ico! With Leo in close second.

 

“YES! IN YOUR FACE RHI!” Ico laughed as he pointed to the cat spirit. The cat spirit said nothing but glared at Ico.

 

“I’m going to throw YOU out the window in a second!” Rhi snapped, making Ico nearly fall off the couch from laughing so hard.

 

“Ready for round two?” Leo asked.

 

“Yes!” Ico said almost immediately.

 

“Ugh,” Rhi mumbled as they plopped down onto the floor. So much for a good feeling.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rhi tries to win some free money by having the four play a game. Too bad one of them is an expert at it in their own way. (Short chapter while a massive one is being worked on.)

“I bet you all twenty pounds you can’t beat this game.” It was an odd challenge. The house was stable enough now to have a computer and a tv inside without the fear of it getting crushed by falling debris. And with this new development, Rhi had issued a challenge to the main four.

 

“I’m in,” Tom replied, a bit eager to win some free money. “What’s the game?”

 

Rhi cackled as they loaded it up, “Super Hexagon! You get three chances. Once those chances are over, you lose. Good Luck!”

 

“Super Hexagon? Is it like that one game you showed us?” Edd asked.

 

“No, this one is different...and much more difficult.”

 

As Tom sat at the computer, he got a good feel for how the game looked. “This will be easy,” Tom snickered as he booted up Hexagoner. 

 

Only one second later…”Game Over”

 

“What?! Okay that was a fluke,” Tom grumbled.

 

“Game Over”

 

“Bullshit! One more time!”

 

“Game Over”

 

Tom looked stunned while Rhi was wheezing in the background. “I told you it was much more difficult! You gotta make it to thirty seconds!”

 

Tom grumbled and handed Rhi their twenty pounds, sitting on the couch. Edd and Matt looked at one another, shrugged, and headed over to the computer. “Tom got unlucky. And I bet that wasn’t the easiest one,” Edd said as he scrolled through the three levels. Hexagon looked promising. 

 

“Game Over”

 

“What…? Okay, I think I got it.”

 

“Game Over” Edd growled in ager at this. “Game Over”

 

“Never mind…”

 

“My turn!” Matt squealed as Edd paid up. Although his enthusiasm disappeared when he too got three game overs. “Aw…”

 

“Tord? Are you gonna try?” Rhi snickered as Matt paid up.

 

“I got a better idea. If I can get to one minute on my first try, you pay me sixty pounds,” Tord smirked.

 

“Oh? A free sixty pounds? You’re on!” Rhi replied, making Tord smile a mischievous smile.

 

“Uh, Tord...what are you planning?” Edd asked.

 

“I’m just going to play a game,” Tord said in a tone of false innocence.

 

Rhi’s eyes squinted as Tord started...then kept going...and kept going without a beat. “Wha...how are you-?” Rhi started.

 

“Shush cat,” Tord snapped. fifty seconds, fifty-five seconds, fifty-nine seconds. One full minute… He kept going until he got to the end, beating the level. “Pay up.” Rhi looked stunned and handed Tord the money. “No snarky remark?”

 

“How did you beat it?” Edd asked.

 

“It was like piloting a robot, not that difficult really,” Tord replied as Rhi grumbled something about a horned haired freak and left the room. “Someone is salty.”


	15. Flaming Forest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tom's attempt at a solo adventure goes wrong when he goes up against a flaming beast.

The forest was normally VERY quiet. Usually there wouldn’t even be a bird chirping. Something was driving the animals away, and it didn’t help that no one wanted to figure out why. After fires began to break out, Tom figured he could have a solo adventure and check out the area. He wasn’t expecting to have to run for his life. Something big was chasing him, and he had only just witness spit out hot molten rock before hand, so he knew it was dangerous. Not to mention the beast was probably much faster than him. Tom could always transform into his monster form to fight it, but he rather not have to deal with potential injuries tomorrow. Although that was pretty much denied when the beast made a massive leap forward, nearly landing on Tom. “FUCK!” Tom shouted as he fell, slamming into a tree. He groaned in pain and looked up slightly.

He was met with seven eyes glaring down at him, with the center eye glowly a hot orange color. It let out a roar, before charging straight towards Tom. “Fine, you asked for it,” Tom snarled as his eyes glowed a neon purple. Just as the beast was about to slam it’s hand down on Tom, A dark purple hand grabbed it. Tom was no longer in his human form, but the form he constantly tried to hide. A swift punch with the other hand and the beast was knocked back, but not down. It roared and reared up, revealing it to have four legs instead of the normal two. Before Tom could back away, the beast slammed its front legs into him, knocking him into some trees, which proceeded to fall over.

Tom growled and stood up, only to be met with the beasts tail, chipping his left horn. Tom roared and charged, leaping onto the side and scratching away. It didn’t last long as he was thrown off. But when the beast charged, Tom met them head on and gripped the other, standing his ground. However, it seemed like four legs beat two as it wasn’t long before Tom was being pushed backwards. No matter how much his feet sank into the ground, Tom couldn’t hold on. He quickly let go and leaped off onto the side, letting it plow through the trees and rocks. “Overgrown freak!” Tom spat before attempting to flee. A blast of flames stopped him in his tracks and he turned to face the beast. Its mouth was now glowing white hot as it spat out fire and molten rock. Burning the ground. The strange legs soon ignited into orange flames, burning the area around it every time it took a step. Tom wanted no part of it and ran away as fast as he could, hoping his monster form was faster. It was a bit, but he was being tailed by the beast, now pretty much on fire, as it ran through plant matter after plant matter, leaving behind a flaming mess.

***

Edd had gotten worried. Maybe he was being paranoid, or maybe he had every right to be a bit scared. Tom hadn't been heard from all day, which was practically unheard of as he always went to the old house to help rebuild. Today was that day, but Tom never showed up. He tried the apartment, but there was no response. Same went for the cell phone route. Absolutely no response. Yea, Edd was definitely worried. He decided to go for a walk to clear his head up a bit, but all that did was help him meet someone new. Edd could see the flames from where he stood, despite the fence. “Geez, this has to be the worst one,” Edd turned and say a slightly taller man approaching the fence.

“What are you doing?” Edd asked.

“Going to stop the fire,” The male replied, “I know who’s causing this.”

“Who?”

“A friend of mine named Jenesis, with a J. I’m Skark, or Ska, whichever is better.”

“Edd…” He looked to the fence and watched as the flames grew bigger slightly, “Come on.”

“Where are you going?” Skark asked.

“To find my friend.”

***

He was getting tired, and he could only hope the beast was as well. Tom had tried taking the path with the least amount of plant matter in it, but he was in a damn forest. How the hell would a massive fire not break out?! He turned his head back slightly, only to notice he wasn’t being followed anymore. Tom skidded to a halt and looked around. He didn’t feel safe, so he hid in a cluster of rocks. Sure enough, the beast ran to his hiding area, looking around and growling. It didn’t keep running, instead it spat out flames, burning the area around and trapping Tom inside a ring of fire. Did it know he was there? “Shit…” Tom growled, then paused and ducked as the beast’s tail slammed into the rocks. Yep, it knew.

Tom roared and lunged out, leaping onto the beat’s face and gripping the horns. The horns seemed to heat up, leaving burns on Tom’s hands. He roared in pain and felt himself get thrown off.  He was trapped and forced to fight this thing, unsure how much longer he could last in this form. He braced for impact as the beast charged. “TOM!” The beast stopped, standing in place before turning around. Edd stopped in front of the flames, using his flight to get over the flames. “Tom, we-” He yelped and dodged a spit of molten rock.

“OH NO YOU DON’T,” Tom roared and leaped onto the beasts back. It roared and shook and bucked, trying to throw tom off. The only thing keeping Tom from getting a good grip was the spikes on the back. The beast reared up, and got ready to land on its back. Tom noticed this and quickly leaped off to the side.

“Tom wait! Don’t hurt them!” Edd shouted as Tom changed back.

“Too late for that!” Tom snapped, backing away as the beast got up, glaring down at Tom and Edd.

Just as it was about to blast out more flames, Skark ran over and shielded the two, “JEN! DON’T!!” The beast, apparently the Jenesis he had been looking for, spat out molten rock right in front of them. Skark carefully avoided the now hardening rocks and made his way over to the beast. “Jen, it’s me, Ska. It’s alright.” The only response he got was a loud roar, but strangely, it backed up from Skark. “Hey hey hey, it’s okay. I know you’re scared, but you need to calm down.” Skark inched closer, being wary as he approached Jenesis, who backed up a bit and roared again. Jen’s tail slammed into a tree, knocking it into the flames.

“I don’t know what you’re trying to do, but it’s not working!” Tom shouted.

“It’s the only option! He’s like you Tom, but he doesn’t have control over it,” Edd said.

“And how do you know that?”

“He told me!” Edd nodded his head towards Skark, who was just inches from the beast.

Skark gently placed his hands over Jen, keeping them there, “Come on Jen, I know you’re in there. You can fight it! You’ve done it before and you can do it again!” Jenesis just stared right at him, growling. Finally it reared up, nearly pushing Skark back, and let out a loud roar. Tom got ready to fight again, but watched as they began to glow a bright orange light and slowly shrinking, morphing into something else. When the light disappeared, all that remained was a person wearing winter clothes. Skark immediately ran over and helped Jen up, who could barely stand. While this happened, the flames around them died off, disappearing despite the fuel of plant matter lying around. “Come on, let’s go home…”

Tom looked stunned, then frowned when he noticed the injuries. It seemed unlike himself, Jen’s wounds stuck between forms. And considering Tom had done some good damage at times, recovery would be hell for them. “How fast does he heal?” Tom asked.

“As fast as any human would,” Skark frowned, “If you’re worried about him, don’t be. This isn’t the first time he’s gotten himself is a mess like this.”

“I…” Tom started, then shook his head, “I’m sure he’ll be fine.” 

“Tom?” Edd looked to his friend.

Tom paused, watching as Skark began to help Jenesis walk once he had awoken. “Wait!” He shouted, then ran to the two, “I might be able...to teach him how to control his monster form.”

“Really?” Skark asked, earning a nod from Tom.

“I don’t know why I’m doing this, but yea, I can,” Tom replied, looking to Jenesis.

His head was hung low, not making eye contact with anyone, as if he were embarrassed and ashamed about what had happened. “Thanks…” His voice squeaked slightly.

“I think we should get out of here,” Edd said, “I don’t know how bad the damage is, but the trees might not hold up much longer.”

“Yea, fuck this place, and fuck going alone here ever again,” Tom said, making Edd laugh.

**Author's Note:**

> GO check us out on tumblr! https://professional-shitpost.tumblr.com/ https://mathonwys.tumblr.com/ and https://interstellar-borb.tumblr.com/


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